Select Page

To be a great lover, you first have to be a great kisser. Kissing is the first introduction your partner has to you and your biochemical imprint. If the first kiss isn’t powerful, she likely won’t want to progress your physical relationship any farther. When you kiss a woman, she will make neuro-associations between you and the way the kiss made her feel. You want your kiss to make your partner feel sexy and sensual. Your kiss should have both a purpose and a reason.


For those who have been with the same partner for a number of years, switching up your kissing technique is a great way to keep things interesting in your relationship. However, before just jumping into new techniques, tell your partner that you’ve been reading about kissing and want to try something different. Otherwise, she may become suspicious. Here are four practices that will help you become a master kisser.


Head position

Head position is key during kissing, and a step that is often overlooked. Bumping heads or noses during a kiss can take you both out of the moment and diminish the romance and sensuality of the kiss. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly so that you can glide directly to her mouth and avoid any discomfort.


90/10 rule

When you are spending time with your partner and feel as though the moment is right to kiss, bring your lips 90 percent of the way to hers. Allow her to come the other 10 percent of the way there, no matter how long it takes. Don’t go the full 100 percent.



Just as there are different levels of pressure applied when touching your partner, there are different levels of pressure to employ when kissing her. While some people enjoy rougher kissing, don’t progress to that level of pressure unless your partner specifically asks you to. Start with barely touching when you kiss and move into the point of increasing pressure. As you experiment and pay attention to what your partner responds to, how much pressure you should use will come naturally. Some people like to deepen touch to the point of leaving a little bit of a mark, such as a hickey. It bears repeating, do not advance to this level of touch without getting the express permission of your partner.



Lipping is a kissing technique not often employed, but one that can be used to great success. In lipping, you are only using your lips to touch hers, using different levels of pressure. Start slowly at first and pause to see her reaction. Look at her face and pay attention to her breathing and sounds. You should be able to tell if she likes it based on her reaction. Experiment by using different parts of your lips on different parts of hers. You and your partner can spend 20 minutes making out just using your lips and not your tongue. Once you do introduce your tongue, your partner will likely be so turned on she can hardly keep herself still.


Keep in mind that kissing should be fun, romantic and sexy. It is a shared experience that opens the door to greater intimacy. Yet, if you take your time with it, kissing can be deeply fulfilling all by itself.
Visit Tj bartel at his coaching website to learn more about how Tj works with men and couples to deepen their relationship intimacy.