Dating after divorce can be a challenging process for a variety of reasons. The following suggestions can make transitioning back into the dating scene a little easier.
#1 – Don’t Impose a Timeline on Yourself
After divorce it’s possible to continue feeling fondness for your former partner and you might not be able to jump back in the saddle immediately. Or you might feel so hurt by the circumstances of the breakup that you are afraid to open your heart again. There is no appropriate or mandatory timeline required to reenter the dating scene. Never feel pressured to rush back into things. There are few relationships more sacred and serious than marriage. Everyone’s time frame is different so don’t compare yourself to other people you know who have been through divorce. For some, it could be months. In other cases, years might be necessary.
#2 – Don’t Set the Bar Too High
Relationship experts caution divorcees not to demonstrate too much selectivity when choosing a dating partner. At this new stage, people should not be readily dismissed merely on the basis of personality or coming across as not being one’s type. Try not to approach every romantic possibility with the end goal of marriage in mind. In the beginning, dating shouldn’t be about finding a new person to marry. Focus more practicing being social again. When you feel ready for something more serious, dating industry observers suggest looking to shared values and consider those who share similar philosophies with you for serious connections. Your goal should be to make connections and have fun.
#3 – Use Dating Sites With Caution
Everyone has heard tales about a disastrous date born from a dating site. Dating experts suggest divorcees exercise caution when using these social outlets. If you decide to use a dating site, read my blog post on what to watch for in online dating. Relationship professionals believe a better course of action is to identify sites comprising of members who share your values and convictions and pursue connections on those sites. For example, look for specific sites or apps catered to certain age groups, religious beliefs, or hobbies.
#4 – Set Realistic Expectations
When reentering the dating game it is strongly advised to set realistic expectations. Therapists and relationship experts stress that divorcees should not necessarily expect to find your prince or princess charming immediately. Finding someone compatible often requires time and effort, but time and effort that prove beneficial.
#5 – Feel the Feelings
Reentering the dating scene can bring up many challenging feelings. As you consider jumping back in, know that you will likely experience a wide range of emotions including, but certainly not limited to, fear, trepidation, excitement, or anxiety. It will serve you well to embrace these feelings, while not allowing them to hindering your dating life.
#6 – Keep Your Family in the Know
This one can be hard, but therapists suggest that keeping your family, especially children, in the loop is important over the long haul. Naturally, your dating life is ultimately your own business. However, close relations, particularly your children, should eventually be told about relationships as they deepen and become more serious. Children should be given the opportunity to ask questions and express their feelings, as well as be considered when it comes to how much time is spent with your new love interest.